Why is it soooo hard to break up with someone?

I've gotten sooo emotionally attatched to my boyfriend that although i know its never gonna work out long term, i can't seem to break things off with him. Its like i NEED him. I don't really know how to explain it...


Just wondering if anyone can relate to this feeling i have? or if i'm the only one?





Anyway, breaking up with him would turn my whole world upside down because i'd be losing a good friend ( i know he couldn't stay friends if i broke up w/him). I'd be losing someone who i've spent sooo much time with and shared some good feelings with. and i'd miss all the physical aspects. i'd miss having someone to call , someone to care about me like no one else does. Thing is i do love him but i'm not IN LOVE with him %26amp; there is a difference. I guess there's no good way to break things off is there?


oh well, would really just like feedback and opinions from the outside world, lol. Please.Why is it soooo hard to break up with someone?
It is definately hard to break up with people. I understand your feelings but I think deep in your heart of hearts you know you need to break up. You will find someone so much better than that. You don't need him, you are just used to being around him. He's not such a great friend if you can't be friends if you break up. There is a difference, you are right. It is so much better if you're in love. Don't settle for anything less. Leave him, take some time for you. Then when you're ready, look in the right places and you will find the one who will cherish you and you'll be IN love with him.Why is it soooo hard to break up with someone?
It's called co-dependency and/or having a fear of being alone or lonely.
Breaking up with someone you love is a nightmare because you don't want to hurt them, you don't want to feel pain either, and there is no painless way to end it.
I can totally relate to that. You get soo used to the person being around that you don't realize how attached you are. I knew someone who was like that, and they also had a really hard time letting go. It's a very hard thing to do, but I think that something will happen, where you just decide that you can no longer handle it. My friend was like that - she always knew that her boyfriend wouldn't be a long term boyfriend, but she couldn't let go. Eventually, something major happens, or maybe even something small, where you decide you have learnt everything you can from that person, and that you just have a sense of contentment in a way, that it's over, and that it's never going to work.


It sucks, but I really don't think that there is a good way to break the news.
It's good at least that you realize you AREN'T in love with this guy. Staying with someone out of comfort or because they've become somewhat like that comfy pair of old shoes you can't seem to get rid of is just wrong. It's completely natural to be scared to let go. Change is hard. It's kinda like a drug...once you quit you have withdrawls. Same thing as when you dump a guy. You'll miss his late night phone calls, the physical part of it and the feeling of closeness. Give it time....will get through all that stuff. I have been through what you're going through and, no there is no nice way to let someone go especially when you know it will be hard on both of you. The up side to that is that with time YOU WILL get over it. Don't do what I did, I would go back to his house even once I broke up with him, and we'd mess around then we'd get sucked back up into a relationship that I knew wasn't gonna work. I started to feel sorry for him so I would stay to save him the agony and myself the agony of feeling lonely. In reality, that was very selfish of me. I was stuck on my own emotions. I didn't want to feel lonely or unloved so I stayed with him to avoid that, when in actuality I wasn't even in love with the guy. You just need to tell him about how you're feeling and you're gonna hurt him but what's worse, hurting him and ending it? Or staying with him because you are just used to him and not in love with him? Trust me,,,you'll get over it. I was with a guy for 6 years and I'm doing fine. Good luck!
It doesn't really matter why it is so. It just is so. Love is deep and intense, so it hurts to end a relationship.





You already know it will not work out, it will end at some time.


You feel a need for him at this time. Eventually someone else will fill that need, and it could be a much better relationship.





Instead of ';why';, think about what you are going to do about it.





How to proceed? How to hurt each other the least? How to grow, and remain emotionally healthy for future relationships.
the heart is the most formidable enemy a person can have.. that is why it will take much pain losing a person.. especially when you have shared many things with him.. special memories.. time comes that you want to leave him.. but still, something in you wants to hold back.. you'll be missing him... and that's a fact.. even though your mind is demanding to forget him.. the heart, will always tend to keep him asking you never to let go..


memories and times spent together gives us pleasure.. pain causes us to break apart.. be strong dear... i know you can make it.. just do what you want.. if you think you cant let him go and that the relationship will not last long, do things that can brigthen up the sunshine on both of you.. something that will keep you busy together... i know it will work.. as long as you guys will cooperate to save it..


wish you the best... god bless and take care
Ok huhh, i feel you on this one but i can only write to a minimum, anyways tell him in a kindly matter that this isn't going to work out but say its not him its youmake him understand and say that you would love to still be friends