I've given myself 30 days to know that what I feel is what I really want, and that's to break it off with my 18 month bf. I've tried to do it before, and I feel like he talked me into staying with him. For a countless number of reasons, I am not happy, I don't know how to tell him, more than I have already, what is the best way to break up with someone?Is there a right way to break up with someone?
Ending a relationship is a difficult decision, here are some tips to help you out.
1. Do it yourself - In person. Don鈥檛 text, email or tell him over the phone, or even have a friend do it for you. Give your soon-to-be ex the respect he deserves in hearing the words from your mouth and in seeing you tell him in person.
2. Pick an appropriate place to break up - Choose a place where your partner will be able to get emotional or ask questions. You owe him the opportunity to talk to you about why you鈥檙e letting him go.
3. Allow enough time for your partner to process the information. Remember, you鈥檝e known for some time that you were going to break up, but it might take a few minutes for your partner to be okay with the news. Don鈥檛 just tell him you鈥檙e ending it and get up and leave. Allow a few moments for the news to sink in, and then ask him if he has any questions.
4. Be respectful Don't devolve into a swearing match- No matter how you feel right now, remember that there was something about this person that drew you to him. Don鈥檛 diminish his character or criticise him or become verbally abusive.
5. State your reasons for breaking up in a straightforward but thoughtful manner - Even if he has hurt you, don鈥檛 say purposefully mean things to get back at him.
6. Don鈥檛 suggest you two can remain friends if you have no intention of doing so - Using this line is a cop out and will only serve to give your partner false hope.
7. Wish him the best and mean it - It can be a scary thing to break up with someone who isn鈥檛 right for you. Trust that you are doing the right thing for you and your partner.
8. Lock your Heart up and Toss the Key - Being extra nice will do no good. Actually, it may give the other the sensation that you are second guessing your decision. Don't start the ';I need time to think it over'; cliche. This will be perceived as if you are leaving the door slightly open to hopes.
9. Give your ex some space - It鈥檚 natural to be curious about how your ex is doing. It鈥檚 also possible that you鈥檒l want to make yourself feel better by hanging out with someone you know is still into you, but doing so is immature and will only serve to hinder you in moving forward. Avoid hanging out or keep showing up at the places you know your ex will be just because you鈥檙e bored or because seeing him gives you an emotional high until you鈥檝e given the break up some time to absorb.
10. Avoid Yo-Yo Effects - Be determined to break up. Don't break up and get back again. This will only prolong an already pitiful situation. Breaking up and coming back, creates a frustrating yo-yo effect which will wreck only havoc in your life. Your ex may take the break up in a stride at first, but then call or email you begging for a second chance. Remember that you are breaking up with him for a reason, so don鈥檛 second-guess yourself. If you receive a call or email from your ex, tell him politely once that you will always care for him but your relationship is over.
11. Strictest Rule to Follow (Specially for you) - ';No Sex With the Ex'; - Look, I know it will be tempting and most likely there will be occasions that he will try and tempt you or request you to have sex just for old times sake!!!! However, when this happens, keep one thing in mind: YOU BROKE UP. You will never get over your ex if the two of you have Sex after the break up. So when you see your ex contemplating (or tempting) you for one more roll in the hay, just for the heck of it, repeat to yourself: NO SEX WITH THE EX.
12. Aftermath - Don't openly discuss the contents of the breakup. That's between you and the other person. It's quite possible that you'll horribly embarrass them if you start gossiping about what happened, so clam up and keep your problems to yourself.
Good Luck%26gt;rIs there a right way to break up with someone?
In person! But if you feel like he'll talk you out of it, write down what you want to say. Either have him read it, or just tell it to him and don't let him change your mind. You know what you want, so stick to it.
Some people need reasons why you're breaking up, some people just want you to get it over with. Tell him what he needs to know, but don't list every single one of his faults and make him feel like a bad person. Be kind but firm?
Talk about this matter clearly.
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